the pre-departure post.

As I write this, I sit in my aunt's condo in Minneapolis, with a few hours to myself to read, write, make phone calls, etc. It is sunny and I can see all of downtown Minneapolis and the surrounding area (she lives on the 24th floor). It's beautiful. It's beautiful, but I feel like I'm in some sort of limbo. All of this planning and preparation, and here I am in the cities for two days, spending some last few minutes with friends and family before leaving on a jet plane.

This winter break has provided an ample amount of time to attempt to reflect on why I am journeying to South Africa... My attempts led me to my journal from last spring. There was one day- I think at a Catholic Worker retreat- that I asked a series of questions to God, mainly,

What does it mean to follow You?

What does it mean to be a disciple?

I wrote about wanting to give my life to living and loving. I wrote about my belief in a Jesus didn't just come to die for us-- he came to live for us, and to show us how to live with truth and joy.

Preparing myself for this journey can only be a vague attempt because I don't know what this adventure will hold. However, I do know it will alter me in ways I cannot predict.

And, in my heart, I feel as though this is what it means for me to be a disciple. To follow Christ's life and love with an expectation of change, and a surrender to not knowing what that change will be or how it will look like.

I feel as if I am riding a wave of love to South Africa. My birthday was a wonderful way to have a last celebration with friends and family. The support from my communities in Chicago and Bemidji and family has been a beautiful tidal wave, and I will hopefully be able to carry that feeling of love and affection in my heart these next few months.

I fly out before the sun rises on Thursday morning. If you are reading this, please keep in touch!

I feel ready. Or, as ready as I can be.