father, forgive us for we know not what we do

Lent in Africa

"That time" has come in our program in South Africa. "That time" refers to what everyone on our program has been anticipating and dreading- the ISP, or Independent Study Project. 4 weeks of individual research, living where we arrange, working on a research project regarding whatever we desire. Well, not really- that research has to be formally proposed and approved by an independent board, clear ethical perimeters, have a supervisor, etc.

The question of "What am I going to study?" has been looming in the back of everyone's minds, each lecture or excursion we participate in a possible option.

I've known from early on that I wanted my project to center around women and art.

First, while walking through the art museums of Durban I was struck by the amount of material revolving around sexual violence and abuse. Why did these women paint this- was it cathartic for themselves, something they wanted to share, an issue they wanted to publicize? Could I talk with them, study this, and work on a painting of my own for the project? Yes, I could.

Second, the rural homestay. I fell in love with my family so much, especially 35 yr old Nokthula and 4 yr old Kwanele. I felt at home there, felt apart of their family, sang to myself as I set the table and took a basin bath. I taught at the local high school and it struck me how few opportunities people in the community had to express themselves. Ideas started forming- I could live with my beloved family, offer free art classes after school at the high school, and ask high school girls and women in the community to paint parts of their lives for me. Could I do this? Again, my academic director affirmed, yes, I could.

Third, the trip to the restorative justice prison. The women entering the cinder block room we sat in, lace table clothes trying to formalize and fancify a drab place. As they entered, it was clear this was important. Their finest jewelry decorated their denim uniforms, perfect eyeshadow and complex hairstyles for this event- meeting 20 students for two days of sharing and communication. Awkward icebreakers melted into warm games of catch, drawing together, and finally discussing our lives.

Art therapy was an important part of the Phoenix Zululand Restorative Justice program, including an art gallery. Walking into the prison, walking around the gallery, meeting with the women-- everything whispered the same thing, "This is where you are meant to be." The whisper was echoed by almost all of my classmates coming up to me, saying, "Claire! This place reminds me of you!!!"

After a tea break, and before the next session, the facilitator asked a woman to start a song. She began a song, two women joined, and at the end of the phrase the entire group joined in time in 4 part harmony. The Zulu words swirled around me, I picked up words, "father", "speak"... and Precious, sitting next to me, stopped her beautiful song to ask me if I knew what they were saying. I said no, and she said, "We sing what Jesus said on the cross. Father, forgive us, for we don't know what we do."

Immediately I was transported back to Chicago, sitting in a community of friends reflecting on the story of Lazurus and the rich man--- asking God who I wasn't seeing and asking for forgiveness. Here I was, in Africa, next to a woman belting her need for forgiveness to God, our hearts so similar. Our needs so similar.

My final question- can I learn more about the lives of these women, give them more opportunities to express themselves, give them another human face to look at, and receive their personalities, wisdom, stories?

Yes, yes I can.

I will be living in the village of Eshowe for 2-3 weeks. I'm staying at a flat owned by the Phoenix Zululand program, within walking distance of a grocery store, homes of staff of the program, and the prison.

For my project, I will become a facilitator for the Phoenix Zululand Restorative Justice Program. I'll be able to offer art classes, and get to know the women. I will find 5 women in the prison who want to participate in my research, and ask them to paint a period of joy in their life, and a period where they experienced sorrow. Once they finish, I will interview them about their paintings, and hopefully grasp a portion of what their experience as a woman has been in rural South Africa. I will do the same process with 5 women in Eshowe who are not currently in prison. I want to hear their stories, understand their lives, which may or may not be different from my own.

And.. I'll make a weekend trip to visit my beloved family.

God is always revealed in the world. This is something I'm constantly relearning in Africa, as I see God in the rainforest in Eshowe (see picture above), and next in the face of Precious as she asks for forgiveness. I see God in my fellow students, all of us who have signed on for these 15 weeks in Africa with no idea what that would entail. I see God in the sky, in my new homestay family in a Colored/Indian neighborhood, in the brokenness and love of South Africans. Finding my place within this, forging this relationship with these new faces of God is my lenten (and life) journey.